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Idea: that's comedy! - the net's #1 joke ebook

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Abstract

Funny Jokes: Private Member's Area

WAIT!
Before you download your FREE 40-Page Joke Book, take a moment to read
through the amazing bonus offer below.

(This is The Only Time You Will Ever See This Page)

Congratulations! You qualify for the All New Unadvertised "Shock and Awe"
Funny Jokes Bonus Package!

This is a one-time deal and once you leave this page the offer will be gone.
Don't miss out.
_______________________________________________________________________

Special FREE Bonus #1

The Big Book of Irish Jokes.

Billy and Pa' were walking in the woods when they came across a sign
saying, "Tree Fellers wanted".

Billy said, "Ye know Pa', it's a shame Paddy isn't here. We could
have gotten the job".

----- ----- -----

A man is driving along in the Irish countryside, when he comes to a
petrol station, since he's in need of petrol, the man decides to
stop.
He says to the attendant at the station, "Fill it up, will you?".
The man says "Sorry - we're right out of petrol."
So the man considers, and says "Well, I'm a bit low on oil, would
you mind topping that up?"
And the attendant responds "Sorry, but no oil either."
The man thinks, and asks the attendant to wash his windscreen, to
which he gets the by-now predictable response that he can't do that.
The man at this point is fairly mad, so he asks the attendant, "Just
what kind of petrol station is this ?"
The attendant then looks both ways, and very carefully whispers to
the man "To tell you the truth, this is just an IRA front."
The man then says "Well, in that case, you can blow up the tires!"

This 26 page ebook contains 75 of the best Irish jokes you'll find
anywhere. You'll laugh so hard you'll blow Guinness out your nose.
_______________________________________________________________________

Special FREE Bonus #2
"The 100 Funniest Jokes Of All Time"

with input from comics and writers including David Brenner, Jim Brogan,
Dick Cavett, Larry David, Al Franken, Larry Gelbart, Jon Groff, Richard
Jeni, Jonathan Katz, Chris Kelly, Billy Kimball, Robert Klein, Richard
Lewis, Jackie Martling, William Novak, and Gene Perret.
_______________________________________________________________________

Special FREE Bonus #3
"The Ultimate 'Yo Mama' Collection"

Over 500 Yo Mamma jokes are crammed into this 21 page ebook...
Yo mama's so dumb, she told me to meet her at the corner of Walk and
Don't Walk.
Yo mama's so fat, her driver's license says "Picture continued on other
side."
Yo mama's so hairy, her armpits look like she has Don King in a
headlock.
Yo mama's so old, when she was in school there was no history class.
You get the idea :-)
_______________________________________________________________________

Special FREE Bonus #4
"The Blonde Q & A Joke Collection"

Almost 200 Q & A jokes directed at one of the few minorities left we
can make fun of without getting sued, arrested or beheaded... blondes.

Yes we love 'em, but we love making fun of 'em too.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out on the screen.
Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM,
SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.
Q: What's black and crispy and hangs from the ceiling?
A: A blond electrician
_______________________________________________________________________

Special FREE Bonus #5

"The Online Joke Book Collection: A Collection Of On-Line Jokes And
Stories Collected From Friends And Unknown Web Travelers" by Edward
Goss

This collection includes Volumes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6 of the Online Joke
Book. That's over 250 pages of jokes and miscellaneous humor. If you
can't find something funny in here, then you'd better check you have a
pulse.
_______________________________________________________________________

Special FREE Bonus #6

"Get Paid to Make People Laugh"
(without being a comedian or a clown)...
by John Cantu

Imagine getting paid to make people laugh... even if you can't tell a
joke. It's perhaps the most fun way to earn an extra $700 to $7,000 a
month ever created. And, you can do it part time -- at your convenience
-- or full time. It's completely up to you. How?

Humor coach and former owner of the legendary San Francisco comedy
club, the Holy City Zoo, John Cantu was interviewed to uncover the
never-before-revealed -- and fail-safe -- approaches he has used with
his clients over the past 30 years.

This ebook is packed with practical, easy-to-implement, and often
surprising information. For example, it makes absolutely no difference
how young, old, tall, short, funny, attractive, educated or shy you may
be. And, no specialized skills are required. You don't even need to be
good at telling jokes.

Cantu says: "If you are able to talk to other people, you can succeed
at earning money with humor!"

Best of all, Cantu shows you exactly how in this entertaining and
to-the-point ebook. It is filled with ingenious, easy to use, no-fail
ideas, techniques and methods... guaranteed to work for you.

I sell this book separately for $20, but for today only... it's a
freebie.
_______________________________________________________________________

Special FREE Bonus #7

"Seven Secrets Comedy Writers and Comedians Use to Create Humor"

Every profession has its own closely guarded tips and techniques for
success. And this step by step report, reveals seven of those humor
tips and techniques that professional "funny folk" use to make you
laugh out loud.
_______________________________________________________________________

Special FREE Bonus #8

"Smiling For Dollars: 24 Ways To Make Money With Humor"

There are over two dozen ways you can get paid for making people laugh
without having to deliver snappy one-liners or take a pie in the face.
You can write it or you can talk it. This concise report gives you that
extra edge you've been looking for to make people laugh.
_______________________________________________________________________

Special FREE Bonus #9

"The Fun Factor: 10 Ways You Can Be Happier... Right Now!"
by Clifford Kuhn

From the Introduction by comedy legend Jerry Lewis...

"You're in for an unusual treat, a treat that is only exceeded by the
treat I'm getting writing the foreword to this wonderful book by my
friend, Cliff Kuhn. When I received the manuscript I couldn't wait to
read it, and read it I did, twice. And I'm proud to be a small part of
what I believe is one of the best "how to" books I have ever read. The
"how to" aspect comes from one of the most prolific men of medicine I
have ever known. As well as being an expert about laughter and the
healing power it can bring, Cliff Kuhn brings us into the broader world
of humor that has been either verboten or laid back so far that no one
has recognized it. It needed someone like Cliff to breathe some air
into it for all to see and understand." - Jerry Lewis
_______________________________________________________________________

The Joke Master Series

The Joke Master Series was specifically designed by professional
comedian and author Steve Roye to show both the average person and
professionals alike how to improve their joke telling abilities to the
maximum extent possible.

Special FREE Bonus #10

"The Joke Master Series Volume 1:
Joke Selection Secrets"

In this guide you will discover the secrets for:
* Selecting the funniest jokes to tell that you read -- even if they
don't make you laugh loud
* Joke punch line secrets nobody knows
* Step-by-step joke selection like a pro
* And more!

The chances are great that you could be missing the funniest jokes to
tell without the joke selection secrets provided in this guide!
_______________________________________________________________________

Special FREE Bonus #11

"The Joke Master Series Volume 2:
Delivery & Timing Secrets"

Have you ever told a joke and had the people just stare at you? Would
you like to increase the laughter response you get when you do tell a
joke?

Delivery & Timing Secrets gives you all the secrets you need to tell
and deliver jokes for maximum laughter impact! Such as...
* The #1 most important aspect of joke delivery and to make it work
for you
* When to pause for virtually any joke you tell for maximum laughter
response
* Preparation techniques used by the pros
* And more!
_______________________________________________________________________

Special FREE Bonus #12

"The Joke Master Series Volume 3:
Top 10 Joke Telling Mistakes"

You have one shot to tell a joke, get it right and get the laughs you
deserve from telling that joke.
If you can simply avoid some of the most common mistakes when you tell
a joke, you will AUTOMATICALLY increase the amount of laughter you will
get when you tell a joke.
Top 10 Joke Telling Mistakes details the most critical joke telling
mistakes that people usually make when they tell a joke and it flops.
Your jokes won't flop if you know the mistakes to avoid!
_______________________________________________________________________

Comedy Secrets For Speakers Series

The Comedy Secrets For Speakers Series by Steve Roye is specifically
designed for speaking professionals and presenters. This series
capitalizes on the foundational work in the Stand-up Comedy Fast Start
Guide as it applies to speaking publicly and adding comedy, humor and
jokes to speeches and presentations..

Special FREE Bonus #13

"Comedy Secrets For Speakers Volume 1:
7 Essential Comedy Secrets"

If you are a speaker or presenter (or you want to be), the 7 Essential
Comedy Secrets is a must have reference for you!
You don't have to become a professional comedian in order to knock out
your audiences with laughter! As a matter of fact...
You don't have to become a great joke writer either.
This guide gives you the 7 essential secrets you must know now in order
to be able to deliver a memorable and funny speech or presentation!
_______________________________________________________________________

Special FREE Bonus #14

"Comedy Secrets For Speakers Volume 2:
Adding Comedy To Speeches"

You can easily add original comedy and humor to any speech or
presentation using the methods described in Adding Comedy To Speeches
guide.
And...it's not hard at all, especially if you use some of the other
guides in this package, like How To Turn Strange News Stories Into
Killer Comedy Material.
This guide works in tandem with the Stand-up Comedy Fast Start Guide to
really help you add laughter power to your speeches and presentations!
_______________________________________________________________________

Special FREE Bonus #15

"Comedy Secrets For Speakers Volume 3:
Delivery & Presentation Secrets"

The Delivery & Presentation Secrets guide is
chock full of methods and techniques that will show you:

* Presentation and delivery styles, along with advantages and
disadvantages of each
* How to develop timeless comedy and humor
* How to make your audience feel "superior"
* Advantages you have over comedians when it comes to getting laughs
* And more!

There is one secret in this guide that you absolutely don't want to
miss when it comes to delivering any speech or presentation for big
laughs!
_______________________________________________________________________

Special FREE Bonus #16

"Comedy Secrets For Speakers Volume 4:
Transition Line Secrets"

I love this little gem...
If you have ever wanted to tell a street joke during a speech or
presentation but didn't know how, you have got to get your hands on
Transition Line Secrets.
This guide will show you step-by-step how to use transition lines to
set yourself up to tell ANY appropriate joke during virtually ANY
speech or presentation!
Used in conjunction with Anytime Anywhere Jokes and the Street Jokes
Secrets guide, you can easily transform your speech or presentation
into a super fun event!
_______________________________________________________________________

Special FREE Bonus #17

"Stand-up Comedy Myths Shattered!"

Are you funny enough to be a stand-up comedian? If so, don't make a
move until you have read 5 Stand-up Comedy Myths Shattered!
You will quickly discover that many of the perceptions that most people
have about stand-up comedy are wrong -- dead wrong!
If you are a funny person in everyday life and want to try your hand at
stand-up comedy, this ebook can keep you from wasting tons of time on
myths and perceptions that are simply not true and can keep you from
realizing your full comedy potential!

For today only...

... you can get all 17 Free Bonuses:
1. The Big Book of Irish Jokes
2. The 100 Funniest Jokes Of All Time
3. The Ultimate 'Yo Mama' Collection
4. The Blonde Q & A Joke Collection
5. The Six volume Online Joke Book Collection
6. Get Paid to Make People Laugh
7. Seven Secrets of Comedy Writers and Comedians
8. Smiling For Dollars: 24 Ways To Make Money With Humor
9. The Fun Factor: 10 Ways You Can Be Happier... Right Now!
10. Joke Selection Secrets
11. Delivery & Timing Secrets
12. Top 10 Joke Telling Mistakes
13. 7 Essential Comedy Secrets
14. Adding Comedy To Speeches
15. Delivery & Presentation Secrets
16. Transition Line Secrets
17. Stand-up Comedy Myths Shattered

...When you order a copy of my best selling ebook:
"That's Comedy! Joke Book"

It's 340 pages of sidesplitting, pants-wetting humor for less than $20

Don't just take my word for it. Read these unsolicited comments from
happy customers...

Hey Dean,
The joke book is the greatest! I think everyone should fork over the
few dollars and enjoy some of the best laughter of their lives. Hey
people, this thing will make your day! Keep up the good work, Dean.
-- Stan Bush Baton Rouge, LA

Too often you read a joke book that has good jokes, bad jokes, and
HORRIBLE jokes. Dean, your book is one of those rarities in which, like
an album by a band where EVERY song is good, the whole joke book rocks!
I'm a cheap bastard, but I truly believe I got my money's worth with
your book. It's added a HUGE amount of ammunition to my joke arsenal
when I'm hanging out with people... I'm damn sure gonna buy Volume 2 if
it every comes out. Thanks Dean. You rock.
-- Matt Fort Hood, Texas

I purchased your e-book and it has me rolling on the floor! My
co-workers are calling in the guys with the white coats! Great laughs,
you should be ashamed for making a grown man pee his pants! (Let me
know when vol 2 comes out!)
-- Gary Kassner Portland, OR

Dear Dean, I thought I'd seen it all. I've been around the joke-block
more then once, maybe even more then twice so it came as quite a
surprise that you've gathered together lots of jokes here I've never
seen! Thanks,
-- Joyce B

gidday cobber digger blue (thats hello in Aussie) Dean mate, I just
want you to know how much I am enjoying your E-joke book. I got it a
few weeks ago and read a few pages a night (ah sod it, I got greedy and
have now finished it) The beauty of it is that I can read it any time I
want. Then I can go to work and impress the hell out of everyone with
my (okay, YOUR!) jokes.
Cheers mate It was well worth the money
-- Larry from Western Australia

Click Here To Read More Testimonials

Plus...

act today and you'll also get two more free bonuses:
_______________________________________________________________________

Special FREE Bonus #18

"101 Practical Jokes"
You'll be able to 'Punk' your friends after reading this outrageous
collection of practical jokes, dirty tricks and goofy stunts.
_______________________________________________________________________

Special FREE Bonus #19

"Gag Gift Recipes"
From "Snowman Poop" to "The Hillbilly Flashlight" and everything in
between - you'll find a ton of fun ideas for gag gifts to make for your
friends (and enemies)
_______________________________________________________________________

I haven't counted exactly, but there are hundreds and hundreds of pages
and thousands of jokes in this special package for just a single
payment of under $20

But Wait...

... since you've read this far, I'm going to throw in one more bonus
to truly make this offer Super Special

Special FREE Bonus #20

"The Best of Late Night TV Jokes"
All the best monologue jokes from TV's Late Night kings of comedy -
updated daily. You get the latest jokes from Leno, Letterman, O'Brien,
Ferguson, Kimmel & Fallon... WITHOUT having to stay up late.

Some typical jokes include:

Leno:
* It looks like more than 13,000 people were caught up in the Bernard
Madoff Ponzi scheme. A Ponzi scheme is where you throw good money
after bad . . . or as the government calls it -- a stimulus
package.

* The population of the United States is now at 300 million. You can
tell who the new people are too, they're the ones that aren't fat
yet!

Letterman:
* Michelle Obama is making a garden at the White House. While she was
out digging, she found three of Dick Cheney's hunting buddies

* How about that Octo-Mom? She was cleaning behind the couch today
and found two more kids.

Conan:
* Earlier today, the world's top economic advisors gathered at a
luxury ski resort in Switzerland to find a solution to the global
financial crisis. So far the best idea is to stop traveling to
luxury ski resorts in Switzerland.

* Another medical study has found that clowns in an operating room
are beneficial to recovery of young patients. The reason is that
kids think, "Wow, at least I'm not him."

But Don't Just Listen to Me...

...Listen To What Other's Have To Say...
(you may need to click the Play button twice)

Randy Pryor, Orange County, CA

Jason, London, England

Carol Hill, Independence, MO

Alan Stevens, Atlanta, Georgia

James Johnson, British Columbia, Canada

To order my 340 page Joke Book for Just $19.97 and receive
this massive bonus collection for free, you need to click
on this special order button right now.

-

Delivery is entirely via the internet at ZERO cost.
Since the ebooks* are electronically downloaded, rather than physically
shipped, there will be NO DELAY in your receiving access and no
shipping charges to pay. Your copy of That's Comedy! Joke Book and all
the bonus ebooks can be downloaded immediately

*An ebook is an electronic book (pdf) which you can immediately read on
your computer. No waiting for anything to be shipped to you. You can
adjust the type size to make it as pleasant to read as possible. You
can also print a copy from your own computer.

Have a great day.

Dean
_______________________________________________________________________

No Thanks, I'm passing up my only chance at this Funny Jokes bonus
comedy collection
Just take me to the free 40 page joke book

Copyright 2011 Horizon Enterprises
PO Box 25, Kincardine,
Ontario, CA

End of Abstract

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